Updated: Jun 28
Feminism is the latest flare in our Indian culture. The ladies are becoming cognizant of their individuality and want to live a life of respect and success. Well, most of us are aware of the original fire going around the forest. Many must have heard terms like 'fake feminism' or 'feminazis' before they even kenned the term feminism, and some even believe that they are the same. But why to demean such a compelling concept simply because of some fools who modified its genuine meaning. Firstly let's acknowledge one thing distinctly that feminism is not a girly thing that is only supported by girls. It is a concept that believes that men and women are equal and deserve equal chances in life for every opportunity. Their sexual orientation should not limit their horizon of capabilities. So one point which we need to affirm here is that a woman, as well as a man, can be a feminist, what's important here is to believe in equal opportunities. So what exactly are the traits of a fake feminist that set her apart from real feminists? Let's find out.
#1. She plays the woman card even when there is no need
Remember the old man or that tired guy who was sitting next to you in the metro or bus seat and then all of a sudden, a girl wearing high heels entered in the coach and asked that old man or tired guy to give up his seat as she was wearing heels and her legs were killing her and that too without adding a single 'please'. Well, congratulations, you have already spotted a feminazi. A true feminist never plays a woman's card except in case it is needed. She doesn't create a scene when she tries to use her woman card and fails in it. She doesn't put fake molestation or rape charges just to show that man his place. She doesn't use a fundamental upliftment privilege as a tool to boost her ego or destroy other's life.
#2. She thinks women are better than men
Yes. You heard it right. Gone are the days of 'men are better than women.' Now some women want to give all the insult back not by fighting for equal rights but for establishing women better. They think that all those braveheart women who broke the shackles by going against society just for the sake of their fundamental right of individuality were not fighting to become equal to men but better than them. They think feminism is all about 'a man is nothing without her woman'. A real feminist knows that being something or nothing doesn't depend on your gender. It depends upon your capabilities and determination. A real feminist believes a man and woman deserve equal opportunity; they should not be prevented from doing something because he or she is a lady or a man. She doesn't comprehend her gender as her weakness, she perceives it as her strength.
#3. She has big dreams and hopes- from the man of her life
A fake feminist can go rant on how women deserve to smoke, drink, party late nights, not do household chores or go anywhere with anyone. But when its time to fulfill her barbie world dreams she expects the man, being her father, husband or boyfriend, to complete her world provide her every comfort and fulfill all her wants and after all this she also wants him to let her do all the above said activities because she thinks it's her right to do it. Her feminism is fake when it's selective. When she believes it's her 'choice' to smoke or stay home and still wanting a full-time maid. A true feminist knows the consequences of her actions. Even if she does it, she owns it. She creates a life of her dreams and doesn't depend on anyone for their fulfillment. A man is a partner for her and not an ATM machine.
#4. She believes the upliftment of women means degrading men
She thinks that the only way women can feel better is by belittling men. You know the person is fake feminist when he/she says 'men are trash', 'men are dogs', 'men cheat', 'men only want sex', 'men have no feelings' and so on. They are so stiff on their beliefs forgetting their fathers and brothers on whom they may be totally dependent, even for a single penny. A real feminist will never call a man or for that sake even female trash unless she has a personal bad experience with him or her. She doesn't generalize the whole gender based on her personal experience. I have heard stories of mothers telling their daughters that men are cheaters, and untrustworthy because her husband cheated on her. A true feminist knows that one experience doesn't define the whole gender. She knows that none of the adjectives are gender-specific. Neither all men are cheaters, nor are all females loyal. She will judge a person from her personal judgment and not from what she experienced earlier or have heard.
#5. She will judge a man on all possible parameters but dare you tell her about her dress too revealing
She will judge all men shamelessly on their eating, sleeping, shaving, bathing, and possibly breathing habits too but if you ask her to stop being too loud about the new hot guy in office because you have a headache, next you will see her standing with her placard about my choice, my life, equal rights, men trying to suffocate our voices from ultra centuries, etc. A true feminist may judge a person but never a whole gender. She doesn't take every criticism as an attack on her orientation. She knows her rights and the responsibilities attached to those rights.
#6. She does not know the difference between wrong and "rights"
A pseudo-feminist believes that it's her right to do the same activities men are allowed to do and to be honest she is actually right till here. The problem starts when she wants to extend her rights not to have equal pay or career opportunities but to smoke, drink, adultery, infidelity, and other such things. She doesn't see that a wrong act is still wrong whether done by man or woman. For say, smoking was never good, and it will never be pleasant irrespective of gender doing it. It’s rightly said that cancer will also not discriminate based on gender. A pseudo forgets about ethics, and her only focus remains on the rights. She will do an activity because there should be no forbidding for her, even if the act itself screams wrong, she doesn't care, and she is a rebel standing for her so-called rights. A true feminist never do a thing because men also do it or because it's her right. She knows that her women's rights end when she enters to do something which her privileges don't cover. It's her responsibility after she decides to cross the line. She doesn't take her woman card everywhere. She respects the rights provided to her and doesn't misuse them for her whims.
#7. She believes that men are too privileged
A fake feminist only sees one side of the coin with the belief that men don't feel pain and are way too privileged. She disregards how it is relatively less challenging for girls to get things done just because they are girls. Standing in long queues, giving up their seats, paying bills on every outing are only a few compromises done by men that fake feminists totally overlook. According to them, when it's about making compromises, men must step forward although if some benefit is to be savored, girls deserve them more. And if you ask them to justify their unreasonable ideas, they won't care. They will simply twist anything to fulfill their shallow purposes. A true feminist knows how much pressure a man faces as it is expected from him to keep working hard, become successful, and raise his family. She understands how men are not allowed to cry and share their problems. She recognizes that the level of struggle is the same on both sides, only the fights are different.
#8. She doesn't care for 'right or wrong' but for whether 'girl or guy'
Pseudo-feminists take a U-turn in their assessment process when they come to know about the gender involved. If a girl did it, she must be poor, lonely, needy, and helpless, although if a man does the same deed, he becomes a monster, a pervert, a blot on society, and whatnot. Her ethics are defined based on gender and not the nature of the action. A real feminist will inflict the same treatment for a woman as she will give a man for wrong actions. Gender is not the criteria to set the severity of wrongfulness, but the act performed is what she builds her judgment on.
These are only a few characteristics that separate a genuine and a fake feminist. We as a society need to realize this distinction to safeguard abuse of privileges given to these pseudo women's activists. We need to speak loudly against such faux feminists who are dangerous not only for the men of our society but also to ladies who are contending actively to break patriarchy to establish and protect their own individuality in this world.
"Life is not a competition between men and women. It's a collaboration."
-David Alejandro Fearnhead